Gordo Goes Global: Finally I have realised there is a Blogger app!

So, after a great deal of tech hassle since arriving in Scotland on May 1st, I am beginning to once again feel an affinity to these funny things called 'apps', as I have realised that yes there is in Fact a Blogger app! Rest assured, a solo celebration is ensuing within the walls of my tiny single bedded room in my Uncle's home in Baillieston! I have been reluctant in posting details of my trip thus far, simply because trying to operate Blogger on safari on an iPad is extremely tedious and only further proves my desperate need to attend anger management classes. However, now that an Apple app has once again awed and impressed me I will slowly start to become less of a bigoted insta-twat and more of a sophisticated travel blogger! Hoorah! Rather than compose post after boring-as-batshit post however, I shall condense my wonderful and diverse adventures hitherto to one post. Apart from May Boyd... And Miley; both of these ladies, although quite obviously being starkly different, deserve posts of their own!

I have been lucky enough to so far been given a taste of both modern and medieval Glasgow, from the cosmopolitan West End and Ashton Lane to the stunning in their antiquity Stirling and Edinburgh castles, grimy with hundreds of years of blood rich history. At Edinburgh Castle, my eyes were even privy to the priceless Crown Jewels; a sight sure to floor even the wealthiest of viewers accustomed to the world's finest. I have attended two DJ shows back to back - Dimitri Vegas and Like Mike, followed by Duke Dumont - on my first two nights in town, both in two of Glasgow's night time hotspots, The O2 Academy and The Arches. I have stood on the edge of a Scottish loch, absorbing the eerie tranquility of the mammoth Loch Lomond; still appreciating Mother Nature's finesse despite chucking a classy vom in the national park's toilets upon arrival. Later that same day I was charmed by the neighbouring town of Luss, a small village of cottages bordering on the Loch, where I had my photo taken with a kilted gentleman, stood next to the grave of a Viking and alarmed the poor Scottish boy serving me my serving of four slices of just bacon by exclaiming: "you absolute beauty!". Needless to say I was talking about the bacon, not him.

Edinburgh herself deserves an honourable mention; that city is just spectacular. Home to many Scottish high achieves, JK Rowling being the most relevant to my generation, the city is awe-inspiring. Food, culture, history, architecture, formidable views and an awesome milkshake shop make the place unforgettable; somewhere I will visit again. Not only did I explore the castle, climb the 200 foot tall Sir Walter Scott monument, visit The Writers Museum, a random cemetery, cathedral and Calton Hill - but I also spotted 'William Wallace', a floating Yoda, the world record holder as the most pierced woman and discovered a kick ass milkshake shop. I am aware that I have mentioned the milkshake shop twice, all I can say is yes: it was THAT good. I was in such a cheerful mood that I even agreed to buy lunch for a beggar, who conveniently selected the largest piece of fish AND chips to go with her meal. Karma: I'm still waiting to hear from you.

Another honourable mention goes to my rad family: from my cousins who I had never met who welcomed me with open arms (including the one who has been said to look like my twin) to my slightly zany but completely adorable Great Uncle Alec, who I also had never met. I am overjoyed that I took the step of flying halfway around the world by myself to virtual strangers and have thereby extended my family network. I feel like I already will have friends for life in my cousins, family connections which I have always longed for. I am very fortunate.